Never Marry a Man With Two Tintins

Half of Li Yue’s robe had fallen down to his shoulders. His eyes were cold but his tone of voice was coquettish, “Xiao Nuo, listen to the Lord’s words.”

Cheng Nuo was unable to control his body which walked towards them. Li Shaoming took him in his arms and one hand started groping Cheng Nuo. Cheng Nuo was both frightened and disgusted. He wished he could cut off this wolf’s paws. ****ing pervert predators!

Li Shaoming obviously enjoyed having a boy in each arm. With a sharp tug, half of Li Yue’s slender, white shoulders were exposed. He couldn’t help but bite into Li Yue’s delicate skin and laugh, “Good boy, I’ll make you feel very comfortable in a moment…”

Li Yue moaned softly but his eyes were cold as he looked down at Li Shaoming’s head. A needle on his middle finger’s fingernail stabbed Li Shaoming on the back of the neck to stop Li Shaoming from using his internal energy.

Li Shaoming was an experienced martial artist so when he felt a little pain, he immediately took action even though his mind was fogged with lust. Bang! He quickly pushed away the two Taking out a signal device, he activated it to call the guards. The high and loud sound hurt everyone’s ears but Li Yue only sneered contemptuously. His Doll Number Five was outside and had already set up a shield so that the sound inside this room couldn’t be heard outside.

Cheng Nuo flew a few meters away and hit the ground hard. His head was spinning.

Li Yue stepped back a few steps then pulled hard on the silk thread he had planted, cutting off half of Li Shaoming’s arm. Flesh and blood splattered across the bed.

Li Shaoming screamed, only to find that he couldn’t use the energy in his body. His vision was turned black for a second and he realized that the needle had been poisoned! He struck out with his top-quality thunder-element weapon, burning Li Yue’s silk threads to ashes.

Li Yue smiled coldly as Li Shaoming’s kick was blocked by a metal puppet. Another doll stood beside Li Yue, assisting him. After a dozen futile attacks, Li Shaoming collapsed on the bed, his weapon dropping down beside him.

Cheng Nuo got up from the ground, spitting out a mouthful of bloody foam. It felt like his internal organs had suffered an injury. Li Yue lifted his control of Cheng Nuo, allowing him to heal himself.

Li Yue laughed arrogantly. Scrubbing at the bite mark on his skin with an embroidered handkerchief, Li Yue tidied up his clothes, making sure to fix his neckline properly. He kicked Li Shaoming to the ground then he jumped down and ground his foot on the wound on Li Shaoming’s arm. The expression on his face was scornful as he said, “You deserve it! You dog, you got my shoes dirty!”

Li Shaoming was only able to move his mouth and scream in pain. Cheng Nuo turned his face away in disgust. Even though he had just wished to cut off the wolf’s claw, it was a bit unbearable to look at Li Shaoming’s miserable appearance.

Li Yue suddenly turned his head towards Cheng Nuo. Narrowing his eyes, he said, “Do you think I’m doing something wrong? Hmph! Do you want to be crushed under this dirty thing?”

Cheng Nuo looked down and said, “No.”

Li Yue rolled his eyes and scolded Cheng Nuo, “You’re too useless and timid! Get out and wait for me for a quarter of an hour.”

Cheng Nuo, like a man granted a long-for reprieve, quickly retreated outside of the room to carefully concentrate on healing himself. It was better to hide out of sight of a ferocious little psycho like Li Yue.

Li Yue bent down and pointed a knife at Li Shaoming’s eyes. “Where is the key to Linglong Pavilion? Tell me and I won’t gouge your eyes out.”

This time when Li Shaoming saw those enchanting purple eyes up close, he thought that they seemed to be full of a hellish light. He couldn’t help but gasp for breath and say: “What’s the use of getting the key to the Linglong Pavilion from me? Two keys are needed to open it… without the Right-Hand Elder then it’s useless to take mine.”

Li Yue slashed Li Shaoming’s face, cutting down from the corner of his eye down to his mouth. “You don’t need to worry about that. I heard that the Left-Hand Elder of Liao Ji City is good at interrogation techniques. I’m afraid that my amateur interrogation method is too inferior in the eyes of the Left-Hand Elder. I might not be able to get any useful information.”

All Li Shaoming knew was a sharp pain on his face followed by the sticky wetness of blood flowing down. He was terrified and said, “The key to Linglong Pavilion is hidden in a secret place in Qingfeng Hall! You have to take me with you to get it.”

Li Yue sighed: “I don’t believe you. I think you are lying to me. You’re planning to play some tricks on me along the way.” As he spoke he slowly moved the knife down Li Shaoming’s chin, stopped above his heart for a moment, slipped down his lower abdomen, and finally stopped between Li Shaoming’s legs to down press hard. Li Shaoming couldn’t help but scream.

“I haven’t completely cut it yet. I’ve only cut at most half of it.” Li Yue smiled and wiped the blood from his knife on his shirt. “I’ll put a controlling string on you later. You’d better take me to the key without playing any tricks!”

Li Shaoming tamped down the feelings of hate in his heart. He had already delayed the little demon quite a bit.

Li Yue shouted an order to Cheng Nuo in a commanding tone, “Stop this dog’s bleeding and don’t let other people know that he’s injured.”

Cheng Nuo has had a lot of experience in healing wounds but none of them had ever been as disgusting as this. He gathered the wood elemental energy in his hand and tried to think of Li Shaoming as just another sick patient whose bleeding he had to stop.

Li Yue’s storage bag contained many prosthetic arms. He took a doll arm and put it on Li Shaoming’s arm. The wound on his face was covered with human skin. He also put puppet strings on his limbs. Of course, Li Yue dared not remove the poison from Li Shaoming’s body.

After all, Li Shaoming was the Left-Hand Elder of Liao Ji City, the leader of a faction. If Li Yue hadn’t poisoned him first, it would have been impossible to control him.

There were clean clothes in the room. Li Shaoming changed into them then went out with Li Yue and Cheng Nuo, his face pale. He shouted orders and servants came over with several comfortable sedan chairs for them. The steward was surprised. The master usually spent all day on these things. Why did he finish so fast this time? However, he didn’t dare to ask about it at the moment.

Li Yue’s arms went around Li Shaoming’s neck and he smirked as he said, “Master, don’t let other people enter the room! There is something inside that’s… disgusting!”

Li Shaoming knew that Li Yue was afraid of being found out. Gritting his teeth, he calmly said, “Steward, no one is allowed to come near this courtyard!”

The steward responded quickly in the affirmative. Li Yue got in beside Li Shaoming and said, “Master, I want to sit inside the sedan chair with you!” Even though he had puppet strings attached to Li Shaoming, Li Yue was still worried that he might try something along the way.

That sickly sweet voice made Cheng Nuo’s hair stand on end. He entered a sedan chair alone, his heart full of turmoil, wondering to himself: Why are there so many perverts in this world? Why?!

He lifted his hands and looked at his palms carefully. The skin there seemed normal. It seemed impossible for him to escape unless that psycho removed his control of Cheng Nuo’s body.

Suddenly the sedan chair stopped and they heard the familiar voice of a teenager say, “Is father in the sedan chair?”

Cheng Nuo was shocked and worried. It was Li Yin! Though Cheng Nuo hated Li Yue, right now the two of them were in the same boat. If they were found out then it would hard fo Cheng Nuo to survive!

REPORT AD

The sedan chair they were using was Li Shaoming’s special sedan chair. Li Yin knew that his father used it very rarely so he was a little curious about it. The sedan chair bearers quickly stopped and said with a smile, “Yes, it’s my lord.”

Li Shaoming glanced at Li Yue’s cold, fierce expression and pulled himself together to say in a cheerful tone of voice, “Yin-er, it’s me. Go to the training ground to practice the sword skills I taught you yesterday. I’ll check on you later. Servants, move the sedan, now!”

Li Yin wasn’t satisfied with this answer so he stretched out an arm to stop the sedan chair. “Don’t go! You showed the technique too fast. I don’t remember it! Father, you must teach me now!”

The teenager moved closer and opened the sedan chair’s curtains. Smiling, he said, “Father, come down…”

However, when he saw that there were two people inside, he was stunned.

Li Yue smiled and poked Li Shaoming, saying, “My Lord, we’re in a hurry. Let’s go!”

Though Li Shaoming’s bleeding had been stopped, the pain of his wounds was still there. When Li Yue poked his arm, Li Shaoming broke out into a cold sweat. He said insistently, “Yin-er, leave. Your father has something urgent he needs to do.”

Li Yin’s face turned pale. Although he knew that his father has many wives and concubines, he has never neglected Li Yin because of them. Moreover, Li Yue was someone Li Yin himself had invited to perform a puppet show but he actually dared to seduce Li Yin’s father!

He pulled out his whip and pointed it at Li Yue, shouting, “You shameless little ****! You dare to seduce my father…”

Li Shaoming was very upset and said angrily, “Yin-er, don’t act willfully and make a scene, step back!”

Bang! There was a loud sound. Li Yin covered his face, his expression foolish as he stared at Li Yue.

Li Yue blew on his hand, smiled and said, “My Lord, what do you think of that hit?”

Li Shaoming said dryly: “Yin-er has always been wayward. You’re good at disciplining people.”

Li Yin looked at Li Shaoming in disbelief then burst into tears, threw down her whip and ran away. Li Yue tutted contemptuously and ordered the sedan chair bearers to continue the journey. Cheng Nuo, who had been watching the scene from the side, felt relieved.

They finally arrived at the Qingfeng Hall and got down from the sedan chairs. Li Shaoming walked in front while Li Yue and Cheng Nuo walked behind him. From time to time they encountered guards who would salute Li Shaoming whenever they saw him. Cheng Nuo’s heart was in his mouth each time this happened but the expression on Li Yue’s face was always relaxed and pleasant. Cheng Nuo really did admire this little psycho’s nerve and excellent acting skills.

They walked all the way to the entrance hall. By this time Li Shaoming’s face had turned as white as paper. He hesitated and said, “If I give you the key, how can I be sure that you will let me go?’

Li Yue laughed and said, “Why don’t we sign a blood curse contract first? You give me the key to Linglong Pavilion and I’ll let you go if you don’t tell anyone about it.”

After he finished speaking, Li Yue took out a piece of paper from his storage bag and waved it at Li Shaoming.

Enduring the pain, Li Shaoming wrote with his left hand. The two of them used their blood to activate the curse then he took the key from a hidden box and handed it over to Li Yue.

With a smile on his face, Li Yue took the key then used a metal skill to duplicate it. Tucking the copy in his sleeve, he put the original key back. Then he stabbed Li Shaoming in the heart. Blood splashed out.

Cheng Nuo was shocked, “What are you…?”

Li Yue looked at him coldly and said, “When getting rid of weeds, one must pull them out by the roots. Hmph, I remember when I was forced to sign a blood curse in the past. Would I still fall for this trick again? I naturally played a trick on him. He can only blame himself for being stupid enough to fall for my trick.”

Cheng Nuo shivered, knowing that most of this was directed at him.

Li Shaoming whispered something and grabbed the corner of Li Yue’s robe with his bloody left hand. His legs spasmed for a bit before he finally stopped moving. Li Yue pulled his knife out from Li Shaoming’s chest then kicked him aside. He laughed and said, “You dog, you’ve dirtied my clothes.”

He glanced sideways at Cheng Nuo and said, “Not leaving yet?”

The strong scent of blood made Cheng Nuo feel nauseous. He held his breath as he rushed to follow Li Yue outside. His hands and feet felt numb. He thought: This world is too scary, I want to go back to Earth!

An ear-splittingly loud alarm sounded just as the two of them exited the hall. The expression on Li Yue’s face changed. “There must be an array set up here. Since we didn’t leave with him, it activated! We have to escape!”

Cheng Nuo, who was covering his ears, was lifted onto Doll Number Five’s shoulder.

Countless guards were already running towards them, however, there were no master martial artists among them. Li Yue used two attack puppets to kill the guards as they ran. Finally, they were in sight of the outer wall.

Being carried as they ran made Cheng Nuo dizzy and his blonde hair was covering his face so he couldn’t see where they were going but this wasn’t the time to complain about it. It was already pretty strange that this cruel little psycho hadn’t left on his own, leaving Cheng Nuo, who was just a burden on him, behind…

Li Yue received a spiritual shock. He was trying to jump over the wall when a row of ice blades block his way, forcing him to turn back.

When he saw three black-clad guards wearing peachwood masks, his heart sank – these were the Liao Ji City Lord’s covert guards!

It was said that the covert guards were elite martial artists who served the Liao Ji City Lord directly. Li Yue hadn’t realized that there were so many hidden guards here! Perhaps the City Lord had sent them to spy on his subordinate. He hadn’t expected to bump into them…

With a yell, he flung a few silk threads towards the nearest one. The covert guard’s long black hair cascaded down to his waist gracefully, making him look very valiant and formidable. Another guard moved quickly to cut the silk threads down with his sword.

Li Yue was shocked. He hadn’t realized how powerful the legendary covert guards were!

He made a decision quickly and immediately sent out three dolls to delay them while he escaped with the fifth.

A guard with ice-elemental powers shot ice blades towards them. Doll Number Five blocked most of them with a sword but some of them struck Cheng Nuo’s shoulders and arms, making him scream a few times from the pain.

That covert guard’s body went stiff as an earth-type puppet attack him. Doll Number Five quickly jumped over the wall with Cheng Nuo.

Li Yue quickly released a seventh-level wind-type magical beast from his magical beast storage bag. Then he grabbed Cheng Nuo’s arm and jumped up with him. Doll Number Five rode on the magical beast’s tail to block any attacks. The magical beast’s wind skill allowed it to move extremely fast, such that they went out of attack range of the three people chasing behind them.

A covert guard cut the binding off one of their entangled companions then took out a smoke signal. As he was preparing to shoot it into the sky to summon more covert guards, the covert guard with ice powers suddenly sprang towards him and stabbed him in the heart. Another cover guard was shocked and said, “Qing Mu, what are you doing?”

Instead of answering, Qing Mu quickly nailed the guard to the wall with a row of light arrows.

The covert guard whispered, “You, you hid your strength… What’s your intention…?” But before he could finish speaking, his head sagged down and he stopped moving.

Underneath his mask, a pair of black eyes flashed with a golden color. Without glancing back at the two dead guards, he didn’t hesitate to run in the same direction that the wind-type magical beast had gone.

*******

Reika’s Notes:

“Linglong Pavilion” – 玲珑 líng lóng This is the onomatopoeia (written sound) of the clinking of jewels. It can also mean “exquisite; detailed and fine; clever; nimble.” It should refer to some sort of treasure room/house.

Left-Hand/Right-Hand Elder – It’s similar to Northern, Southern, Eastern, Western, etc. If there are four of something then they could be named after the four cardinal directions. If there are two, then they could be called Left-Hand/Right-Hand.

“…in the same boat.” – 一根绳上的蚂蚱 An idiom. Literally, it’s “like locusts tied to one rope.”

Covert guards 暗卫 àn wèi – also called “dark soldiers” or similar. This is a trope in novels where a high-ranking noble has an elite secret cadre of soldiers, guards, spies, assassins, etc. who do a lot of covert missions. I just think of them as Chinese ninjas, lol!

“…cut the silk threads down with his sword.” 刀 dāo This is a Chinese sword… or a knife/dagger.