Born a Monster

“Halfway before or halfway counting the delays?”

“Rhishi! Keep pushing the bear! I don’t hear growling.” Kismet said.

The bear was growling merrily when the captaine thrust open the doors. “I see the sun clear of the horizon, and yet I see no swabbing happening yet! Bosun Smythe!”

“There was a light rain last night, might it please the captaine, and we removed the foul water with seawater before pitching the deck.”

“Very good, bosun. Carry on, then.”

“Rhishi!”

.....

“Sorry, I’ve just never seen someone actually skip up a set of stairs before.”

“Oh. You’re young, yet. Rhishi. Did you see who visited her?”

“Some manner of ghost.” I said.

“Ghost? She doesn’t seem scared. Is she possessed?”

“Growling, Kismet?”

She boxed my ear on that side.

“Her mother.” Clemson said. “Enough of her is bound to the ship that they can argue over grandchildren.”

I wondered why I hadn’t sensed her presence before, but not so hard that I forgot to keep the Bear moving.

“Ah, so she gets to visit her mother and captain the ship.” I said.

“So long as she feeds us.” he grumbled.

“This again? Clemson, the nets were cut. There’s no new fish. Salt pork is tomorrow, not today.”

“You get to eat the captaine’s leftovers, and the rest of us just suck down seaweed?”

“Nobody eats the captaine’s leftovers, she scrapes them off her plate and out the back porthole by herself.”

“If nobody sees it, how can we be sure it happens?”

“I’ve seen it.” The bosun said. “Besides, leftovers attract rats. Do you see Missus hanging around the captaine’s quarters, or down below decks where the rats hang out?”

“I know where one rat hangs out.” Clemson muttered.

“What was that, Clemson?”

“Missed a bit of pitch is all, bosun.”

“Well good, get the deck good and smooth. Captaine’s right, we should be done by now.”

“I don’t like Clemson.” Kismet said.

“Mother River, hear my plea, grant my request. Bring the mana of the river to my eyes, and let me see the world, briefly, as you do. Mystic Vision.” I whispered.

“Rhishi! Bear! Growling!”

“Of course.” I said, averting my eyes from Clemson, and releasing the Vision.

After the swabbing, I went straight to Sea-Witch Jeanne.

“I think Clemson is tainted.” I said. “Bite marks on his left hip and right shoulder.”

“Captaine knows.” She said. “That’s not taint, it’s the Mermaid’s Curse. Lust and Gluttony. Should be wearing off soon.”

“How soon? It didn’t look like it was weakening.” I said.

“It’s Clemson.” She waved a hand in dismissal. “Nobody’s going to help him indulge either of those sins, and the food is under lock and key. A day, three at most.”

“I hope so.” I said.

“Don’t worry, captaine has the officers watching him. If he becomes a problem, we’ll know.”

#

I was able to split five of five waves. Not the entire width of the boat, but with inches on either side of the prow to spare.

“Ah, why didn’t you tell me you’d skilled up yesterday? I’d not have been so cross.”

“I didn’t know.” I said. “My System told me nothing.”

[Lore: 1, 13/30 DP to level 2.

Elementalism: 1, 11/18 DP to level 2.

Water Magic: 2, 30/60 XP to level 3.

Move Water: 3, 7/10 XP to level 4.]

“No way all that happened overnight. It’s been quietly improving all week.”

“All of what?” And, “I concur.” When I told her of all the improvements.

“What I don’t get is why statistics and sub-stats are listed as DP when it’s clearly an XP-type mechanic going on.”

She pointed at my head. “That’s something that goes on in between those ears there. Unless you’ve trapped a spirit in your System?”

“Why would people do that?”

“Some people like talking to their Systems. So they imprison a spirit inside it, and talk to that spirit as though it’s the system.”

“That... seems extremely cruel.”

She shrugged. “Never wanted to try it, myself. But some people do.”

I poked my head over the railing.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m trying to get a look at the enchantment you’ve placed on the prow of the boat.”

She gently reached forward, lifted my by my belt. “Boat, huh?”

“Ship! I meant ship.”

Ships are big things. Boats are not. Remember it, because sailors are twitchy about it.

“Take a look at the bottom while you’re down there.” She said cheerily, and upended me over the rail.

She was right. It was worth looking at.

“What’s the trident circle for?” I asked, still dripping wet.

“Trident circle?”

“A trident that pierces a circle, loopy thing like...”

“Oh. That’s the symbol for Hermes, god of travel. When I have too much money, which almost never happens, he’s the god I sacrifice something to.”

“So... you have divine caster levels, also?”

“Nope. Alchemist, from the Craftsman archetype.”

I squinted, confirmed via my System that she was talking about the Crafting archetype.

[Alchemist, 3/100 XP toward level 1.]

Seemed kinda small, for all the potions I had tried brewing.

“I swear, it’s the symbol for Quicksilver, one of his appellations.”

I shook my head, trying to clear water out of my ear canals. “I’ll trust you. So many of the gods just ... collect these titles.”

“Yup. Couldn’t tell you why, but the gods fight over them. Six goddesses of the sun, I’m surprised there’s room for Apollo to claim being the sun god.”

She slapped her knees. “But, enough yipyap. Let’s talk about Detect Taint.”

“But... I can see taint through Mystic Vision?”

“Don’t tempt me, I will slap you in the head. What did I tell you about magic and taint?”

“Magic avoids taint?”

“And taint infects everything. Do you want your eyes tainted?”

I absolutely did NOT.

.....

“Okay, so let’s be about how to detect taint WITHOUT putting your senses at risk.”

#

Remember when I said Detect Taint was a common spell among divine casters? You might not, I think that may be from the previous volume.

Anyway, I just spend eight points from my reserve of Shaman XP, and it popped up after a single day.

Ever wonder what that feeling that makes your hairs stand on end feels like for those of us without hairs? If you guessed scales standing on end, exposing the neck to a cold breeze that doesn’t actually blow, then congratulations! Have an imaginary cupie doll.

No, really. It’s yours. It’s imaginary, it doesn’t cost me anything. Take it.

And while my Shaman XP stayed the same, my available XP dropped.

Wait... All this time I thought that I needed to choose between advancing in levels or powers, when the truth is that the one feeds the other?

I. Was. So. Stupid.

But anyway, that was the day the castaway’s fever broke. His sweat was cold, but he still sweated.

“Doctor, I’m having trouble spooning tea into the patient. He turns his head when he smells it.”

“That’s actually a good sign.” He replied. “That tea tastes awful.”

“Yes,” Madra said, “but now we owe coins to those who said he would make it.”

“Here. Help me scrape off the dead skin and change the bandages.”

I did so. After all, medical treatment was one of my cultivation methods.

“See all that gets disposed of.” He said.

“Yes, doctor.”

I disposed of them inside my gullet, there in the hallway. After making sure nobody was around to watch.

Any dietician would tell you that fiber is an important part of your daily intake, after all.

Besides, I wanted to know what was mixed in to his bloodline.

Oh... he wasn’t human at all.

Crap.

How did I warn the crew, without giving away how I knew?

And did I want to? I mean, as far as I knew, his kind didn’t eat people...

As far as I knew.

And... he might actually have been a member of a crew.

I just... I didn’t...

A bell chimed, eleven times. I was late to prepare mid-day snacks.

I scurried down the hall, all thoughts of warning the crew washed overboard by the fear of how the cooks were going to punish me.

Extra work, extra cleaning, only got my snack after everyone else. Oh, and solo cleanup. It really wasn’t that harsh.

And I learned that olives can be jarred and preserved in their own oil, which you keep afterward because there are multiple cooking applications for it.

But, after the jar is opened, you boil it because diseases like the taste of it, too.

Odd as it is to believe, I didn’t know about microbes yet. They showed up as evolutions that I could add to my blood or digestive tract. Didn’t even have a warning label attached.

[Improved Digestion, Alcohol – improve nutrition by one per serving of alcohol.]

But more on those later.

#