Born a Monster

Chapter 30

Toxic

The natives insisted on applying leeches to me; I insisted on eating them. If I ever needed to fight something twenty feet or taller, I knew I’d regret not evolving like a leech. That said, there were nice things in there to stop blood-borne pathogens and diseases, and I flagged those as priority evolutions.

“If you need me to eat your leeches also, just let me know.”

“Husband, shut up. This is all your fault.”

“How so?”

.....

“If I hadn’t thought of how easy it would be to poison you, I’d not have touched those berries.”

“Sorry, ever since my first experience with a poisonous mushroom, I’ve been pretty diligent with flagging anything that adds to my resistances to poisons, venoms, or toxins. Incidentally, there’s a winged bug that actually gains nutrition from those berries.”

“Wait, so...”

“Poison is actually about as difficult a way of killing me as by bludgeoning.”

“Well, poop! Tell me now, why don’t you?”

“More to the point, you acted out against me. There will be punishment when we get back to civilization.”

“Will there be punishment? Pain? Why not now? I want to laugh at what you consider punishment now.”

“Because I doubt the natives have leather whips.”

“Oh, I know you mean flogs. They have those aboard the ship.”

“No, I mean whips. I’m told they hurt more.”

She sniffed. “They’re harder to use.”

“You seem to offer me no lack of incentive. Twenty-eight health points lost, I figure that’s worth twenty-eight lashes.”

“Puny boy. You have no clue what you’re signing up for. The whip isn’t a novice’s tool of choice. I’ll bet you a silver you pop your own eye out by the time you finish with your lashes.”

“I suppose we’ll just have to see.”

“You aren’t as intimidating as you think you are, and what you think is nowhere near what it should be.”

“I’m still growing, yet.”

“Nowhere near as quickly as you should be.”

“Oh? Should I be considering kraken-spawn dishes, versus those I could make from a dragon?”

“Hrm. Possibly not by yourself, but you should have more heroic companions who were capable of assisting you.”

“Well, it’s not like I can make them out of nothing.” I said.

“Oh, are you ready for your first lessons in Lifeshaping?”

I sighed. “It doesn’t look like either of us is going anywhere soon.”

“And whose fault is THAT?”

“I seem to recall you were the one trying to poison me.”

“And you were the one unable to perform a mid-level Blood Magic. I mean, I know every master has times when they miss an incantation, but that was a true novice blunder.”

I chuckled, but it turned into coughing, and I had to roll over away from her, just in case I was going to cough up blood again. I didn’t, but just that bout of coughing took up too much of my energy.

“Oh, look at you, husband. Feigning weakness again. I’ve felt what those hands can do, when you really want to use them! Do you remember...”

#

“Ask me what the good news is!” Gamilla said, bursting into the hut, thrusting aside the blanket that served as a door, the cursed light entering ahead of her.

“Have we sold all the blankets?” I asked.

“I, Gamilla the Treacherous, have sold ALL THE BLANKETS!”

“For a profit?” Madonna asked.

“Go bite your tongue in hell!”

“It’s a thought. Care to go first and show me how it’s done?”

“Old age before beauty, elder.”

“You see what she did there, husband? Don’t I deserve such nicely crafted insults?”

I forced myself to a sitting position. “How much profit, Gamilla?”

“Not as much as when we return here with basic livestock.”

I was... confused. “Livestock, not weapons?”

“Livestock.” Gamilla said.

“Won’t the Makura just eat them?”

“Better than eating their children, I suppose.” Madonna said.

“What tax do the Makura want?” I asked.

“Do you want to ask them?” Gamilla asked.

“I should ask.” I said. I discovered someone had tied my chest to the hammock with a hempen rope. I hung there, rope under my armpits. “I have discovered a new question I want to ask.”

“Who else but Kismet?” Madonna asked. “You look so helpless, like a wolf cub or kitten being carried by its mother.”

“I suspect your doctor.” Gamilla said.

“Can you see the knot?”

“Not until you give up this foolhardy idea of walking up to the shallows of a Makura colony.”

I sighed. I had actually been considering swimming right up to a Makura, and speaking with their ... did Makura have chieftains?

“Did someone forget that he was wounded?” My wife asked.

“I often forget when I am wounded.” I said.

“Pain helps the rest of us know that.” Gamilla said.

“I am too often in pain, and have stopped minding it.”

“That’s terrible! You should treasure your pain, as I do.”

“Would one of you please help me back into my hammock?” I asked.

“I like seeing you helpless.”

“I have time. Move your feet to here.” It was a simple flip.

“Thank you, Gamilla.”

Madonna sniffed. “You could have commanded me to do that.”

“Do you truly desire to be used for such mundane tasks?”

“Not really. But it’s better than being ignored.”

“Gamilla, your progress with the trade goods exceeds expectations. Flag yourself for a reward, but it is clear I need to spend time with my wife.”

“I do wish you luck in those negotiations, ambassador.”

And we spoke much of that day, regarding her expectations and my failure to meet them. Nothing she revealed that day should have surprised me, but properly it doesn’t belong here.

“Hey, boss, ship’s sending a flag message. Want to know if we’re ready for early pickup.”

“Yes, Narces. Please untie me, and let’s get underway.”

“Uh, why are you tied to the hammock?”

“Because he’s an idiot.”

“Thank you for your confidence, Madonna.”

#

The Makura were more restless as the longboat rowed us out.

.....

one of them sent.

They discussed among themselves.

[Through training, you have unlocked the Psionic class Telepath at level 1. You have 100/300 XP toward the next level.]

[Psyche Statistic unlocked at rating 1. You have 1/15 psi points.]

[New ability unlocked, Mind Speech.] It looked like... something I already did without the ability. I’d need to look at it later.

[Mind Speech cultivation method already unlocked as Thought Speech, level 2. 32/60 XP to next level.] Similar for Empathy, and Mind Pictures... I’d been working on this since before I knew what classes were!

[Meditation cultivation unlocked. Parapsychology cultivation unlocked. Crystal Lore cultivation unlocked...] There were others, of course, but I’ll get to them when they enter the story.

“Gamilla, the Makura want to know when we’ll return.”

I told them.

They gave me an impossible amount of food.

Negotiations were breaking down until I realized something.

one screamed.

“Gamilla? I need your assistance.”

“Why, with what?”

I informed her how things were going with the Makura.

“And I thought you were just suffering from constipation.” Madonna said.

[Your psi points are at 0/15. Pulling energy from designated alternate source, fatigue meter.]

We got back to the ship well after dusk. Makura get hungry and cranky as the sun sets.

To anyone even vaguely sensitive to emotions, Gamilla was a source of radiance.

“That, ambassador, was a good day’s work.”

“Maybe we can establish a colony here.” Kismet said.

“Are you wanting a war with the jaguar-folk?” I asked.

“There are other islands.” She muttered.

#